you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize
