it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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