I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
