At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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