this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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