doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
