The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
