I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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