the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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