come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
