You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize