Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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