You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
