My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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