dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
