There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
send nudes
from the living room?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
