grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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