You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
fuck your aforementioned shoe
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
