She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
