girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
