every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
