Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
