I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
