You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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