Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize