when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
