so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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