On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
