Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
