did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Buhtt sex?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
