Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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