theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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