I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I'd cum for enchiladas.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Randomize
