Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
