question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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