Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
