WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
