We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
