I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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