youre lurking in front of me
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
