At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
