I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
