put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
