let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
