I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
