Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
