roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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