$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
