my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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