Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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